I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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