He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
