Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
