i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
