I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
