booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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