Midget sex pt 2 tonight
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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