Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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