He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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