Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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