You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize