Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
