I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
