i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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