Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
