Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i may or may not be watching the land before time
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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