I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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