Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
