The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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