so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
