I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
