I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize