how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
