dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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