Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
