Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
