i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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