never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So much rum. So many feels.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
