well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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