Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
