I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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