that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
