Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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