I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
