If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
