I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
