Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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