I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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