Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
