i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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