need another drink. this is the easiest way
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Randomize
