take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
