so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
