Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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