you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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