is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
im holly from the hills drunk
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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