This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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