giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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