Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
