Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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