that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
