I think I died a long time ago.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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