I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
