I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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