I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
