she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
