Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize