The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
