Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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