tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
