super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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