Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Are my feet made of real feet?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
